wow... this makes me think

ok. so being the stalker that i am (not really), i have tyler's exgirlfriend on my buddylist because i know she still wants him and i just want to keep an eye on whats going on... like plots that are being built up. plus, its like a soap opera. well, lately, she'd been pretty quiet. like nothing involving tyler. but after the events of this weekend (which was WAY too crazy to explain and not really my business because tyler shared the info with me but its not mine to share with you all... so there :p) this is her away message:

"i hid so much of my feelings from you after the break up...i wish i didn't...maybe things would have been different..."

and her profile has this at the bottom:

"if i could do it all over again,knowing what i do now, i really would. i'd do whatever it took to make you mine again.but i can't now. here i go on without you.gone. but you've been gone for a while. i hope, i really hope, to have you again.things would be different. i don't see how they could ever be the same."

so, while this makes me feel sad because thats what ALWAYS happens (you know, sympathy or another feeling caused by reading/hearing/watching something), it also makes me wonder.

have i ever been in love to this degree?

tough question.

tougher answer.

straight up truth: probably not.

i have never been in love to the point where i would literally throw myself at the guy to get him back.

sometimes i wonder if i'm too logical for that sort of feeling.

and i definately would be acutely aware of the potential embarrassment.

i mean, if i wish inside my heart that me and some guy had not broken up... it just goes completely against my nature to try and get him back because i would feel like that was a) desperate or b) a waste of time.

the way i see it: why would the person break up with you if they still wanted you?

it just doesn't make any sense to me.

so i guess i'm still waiting for that guy who will make me go against my nature.

could it be tyler?

i guess we'll see!