the first fight

so today tyler and i had our first big fight. well actually, i guess last night we had our first big fight and it was so big it spilled over into today. we're ok now but it got me thinking. usually relationship fights start with something small and not really all that significant. its usually a superficial thing that one of us is focused on. but then, fights will just grow and grow and grow. and this is especially true with tyler because he HATES it when his girlfriends act submissive or whatever... which causes a problem because then how do you end the fight if no one can give in? (i find this kind of funny now that i'm rethinking it...)

but anyway, so once it grows completely out of proportion, usually things get said that you don't really mean. but these things, even though you didn't mean them and they were said in a moment of frustration and passion, can still be pretty tough to swallow. usually they are pretty hurtful even if you take into account that the other person didn't really mean it.

so my question is this:

can you ever really forget the things said in a moment where you just weren't thinking and were lashing out because of your own wounded pride?

i'm not really sure. on the one had, i know that we can totally recognize the other person's frame of mind because no doubt we were in the same state, but i feel like these things still stick with you.

because even if the other person didn't mean it and may not even feel that way, the fact that these things were said make YOU start to feel that way about yourself.

it causes you to wonder about these little things that you maybe hadn't considered before.

so i guess what i'm getting at is:

once said, is the damage forever done? will it always linger in the back of your mind?

frankly, i have no idea. and not to be cliche, but i guess time will tell.