oh no... i feel so bad :(

"yeah so...i can't stand it that my ex bf already has another girl. it's for real. he's like, her bf. even though i don't really know for sure, i know. he wouldn't be with her if he didn't really like her right? i mean, that's how tyler is. he doesn't like to waste his time on people unless they are worth his time. it hurts me so much... to think of him fucking her makes me want to puke. this feeling all came back tonight after being reinforced of how much tyler really likes this "new" girl. it seriously kills me to know that he's going to go to her college to help her move in and stay with her for a few days....sleep with her...like how we use to...hold her close and look into her eyes...damnit...this drives me insaine.

i try to not think about it...i honestly try not to. i wish this wasn't so fucking hard. and i thought i was fine until tonight. i thought i was actually getting over him. WRONG. i feel so fucking stupid. i just want to get over him!

i hate it so much how this hurts...it's like, i'd be fine if he wasn't with someone else.
even though he told me he didn't want to think about us until skool started, he had, he did. he made up his mind that he didn't want to be with me when we would go back to skool. then when he finally told me he had made up his mind that it's over, (all the while i'm holding onto the thought that we would be getting back together), he was already over me enough to have someone else. now i'm here to deal while he has her...ugh....this hurts so fucking much. my heart is in the blender...

i fucking hate this shit! i don't want to care anymore! i don't want to love him anymore! i just want to go one fucking goddamn day without thinking about this!"

ummmmmmm... ok. that was written by Tyler's ex girlfriend on her myspace account which tyler showed to me... i feel so bad that she's hurting over this. but we're not DATING!! so she's getting really worked up over something that hasn't happened yet... and they've been broken up for three months so i feel so bad that just the thought of us MAYBE getting together makes her so sad... and i feel helpless because i know how it feels to have your heart ripped out but at the same time i can't do anything to help her because it would seem like i'm pitying her or something... sigh.

hopefully once he gets back to school and they talk, she'll realize we're not dating. yet. but i don't even know whats going to happen. i mean, the last thing i need right now is another boyfriend!!!! sigh. he is really great though. and the fact that she's so upset just backs that up :(

i just wish i could stop her from hurting but i guess its just one of those things that girls need to get through with their friends or on their own. not with strange messages from the girl you're angry about. and if i were to say something then she would know that he had mentioned it to me so its a lose lose situation. sigh.