what a depressing day
well, its Easter. a holiday where christians around the world celebrate christ being risen from the dead. if this is a holiday of being alive, why do i feel so dead?
today started out pretty good. i stayed up all night because i had to get up for dawn mass anyway so i figured what was the point of getting an hour or two of sleep. also i was afraid that if i fell asleep at 2 am i wouldn't wake up in time to shower and get ready. so stayed up with bobby until he fell asleep and then came back to my room, freaked out because ashley wasn't here and her friends online told me she had left them at at 930. since it was now 2 am i was really worried. i eventually found her in my rc's room and decided to stick around and talk to all of them. she was in there with catherine and levent (who i know) and my rc's brother mike who was here visiting for easter. he was really nice and we all ended up talking until around 330. then everyone went to bed and i watched a little tv until 430 when i showered and got ready.
i made it to church by 610 for a 630 service. that was kind of nice, just hanging out before hand with my friend jess and a couple people i had met once before. the service was nice, i liked the songs we sang...i think thats my favorite part of church: the hymns. i guess they're just sort of catchy. i don't know if i fully believe in what the church represents and preaches...but you gotta love those songs.
i got back from mass and went to sleep immediately. i woke up around 2, talked to bobby, then went back to sleep until i finally got up at 430. its now 600 and i've done nothing. i tried calling bobby to make plans for later but couldn't reach him, so then i asked ben and john if they wanted to get together to go out for a nice easter dinner...they said no. then bobby told me he wasn't feeling well. so i guess dinner is out.
i dunno...the whole attempt at making plans has just depressed me to no end. i mean, most people i know are home with they're families having a nice dinner. this holiday for me is more about family than religion anyway. when i was little, my mom would dress my sister and i up in cute frilly dresses and little easter bonnets and we'd go to church and see all our friends dressed up in extra special clothes. when we were in the states, we'd usually have our grandparents come up for the holiday too. wow... this is making me really miss my grandpa. he passed away four years ago. he died in his sleep at the age of 82 after seeing his three grandchildren and three children all at the same time. i guess i should have known that something would happen since it is so unusual for us all to be around at the same time. he had such a peaceful and happy passing that i wasn't really sad. i was sad that i wouldn't see him again but at the same time, thankful that he felt no pain. but at times like this... i remember him as he was when we were little and really miss him.
i swear, he was the best at hiding easter eggs. he would make up the best riddles to where they were hidden. (god, this is making me cry) and when we were at grandma and grandpa's house...there could never be too many eggs. usually at home we would dye about a dozen or two. but at grandpa's house we would dye about 6 dozen eggs. if my cousin was with us then it would be 8 dozen. and he would make up different egg hunts for all three of us. erin (my sister, younger by two years) would have the easiest ones because she was little. tara (my cousin, exactly the same age as me, born on the same day but half a world apart) and i would have slightly more complicated ones. and he would intersperse the eggs with chocolate bunnies and other goodies. the final prize would be a huge easter basket full of jelly beans, chocolate, bunnies, marshmellows, etc. we would be so excited to find the baskets. we would come running out and compare them...they were always equally wonderful. it was amazing.
then in church he would make you smile and pick you up or sit you on his lap. he was never afraid to make you laugh during the mass. he was just grandpa. then when we got home, my mom and grandma would make egg salad sandwiches out of some of the dyed eggs while grandpa read us stories or told jokes or something.
these are some of the happiest memories i have and i attribute that fact to him. next time i'm in DC i think i'll go visit his grave. we laid him to rest in Arlington National Cemetary. during world war II he was in the air force, flying B-52s or something. now he can watch the planes go overhead from reagan national airport.
he was a wonderful man. he helped secure extremely fantastic health and work benefits for the union workers in detroit. he raised three children. he was kind to everyone he met. if you were out of a job, Eugene Guido would find you a new one. he didn't judge people. he worked so hard to give his children everything they wanted. and he was so proud of them, even when they screwed up. he loved his grandchildren so much and that love was returned fully!
i miss you grandpa.
today started out pretty good. i stayed up all night because i had to get up for dawn mass anyway so i figured what was the point of getting an hour or two of sleep. also i was afraid that if i fell asleep at 2 am i wouldn't wake up in time to shower and get ready. so stayed up with bobby until he fell asleep and then came back to my room, freaked out because ashley wasn't here and her friends online told me she had left them at at 930. since it was now 2 am i was really worried. i eventually found her in my rc's room and decided to stick around and talk to all of them. she was in there with catherine and levent (who i know) and my rc's brother mike who was here visiting for easter. he was really nice and we all ended up talking until around 330. then everyone went to bed and i watched a little tv until 430 when i showered and got ready.
i made it to church by 610 for a 630 service. that was kind of nice, just hanging out before hand with my friend jess and a couple people i had met once before. the service was nice, i liked the songs we sang...i think thats my favorite part of church: the hymns. i guess they're just sort of catchy. i don't know if i fully believe in what the church represents and preaches...but you gotta love those songs.
i got back from mass and went to sleep immediately. i woke up around 2, talked to bobby, then went back to sleep until i finally got up at 430. its now 600 and i've done nothing. i tried calling bobby to make plans for later but couldn't reach him, so then i asked ben and john if they wanted to get together to go out for a nice easter dinner...they said no. then bobby told me he wasn't feeling well. so i guess dinner is out.
i dunno...the whole attempt at making plans has just depressed me to no end. i mean, most people i know are home with they're families having a nice dinner. this holiday for me is more about family than religion anyway. when i was little, my mom would dress my sister and i up in cute frilly dresses and little easter bonnets and we'd go to church and see all our friends dressed up in extra special clothes. when we were in the states, we'd usually have our grandparents come up for the holiday too. wow... this is making me really miss my grandpa. he passed away four years ago. he died in his sleep at the age of 82 after seeing his three grandchildren and three children all at the same time. i guess i should have known that something would happen since it is so unusual for us all to be around at the same time. he had such a peaceful and happy passing that i wasn't really sad. i was sad that i wouldn't see him again but at the same time, thankful that he felt no pain. but at times like this... i remember him as he was when we were little and really miss him.
i swear, he was the best at hiding easter eggs. he would make up the best riddles to where they were hidden. (god, this is making me cry) and when we were at grandma and grandpa's house...there could never be too many eggs. usually at home we would dye about a dozen or two. but at grandpa's house we would dye about 6 dozen eggs. if my cousin was with us then it would be 8 dozen. and he would make up different egg hunts for all three of us. erin (my sister, younger by two years) would have the easiest ones because she was little. tara (my cousin, exactly the same age as me, born on the same day but half a world apart) and i would have slightly more complicated ones. and he would intersperse the eggs with chocolate bunnies and other goodies. the final prize would be a huge easter basket full of jelly beans, chocolate, bunnies, marshmellows, etc. we would be so excited to find the baskets. we would come running out and compare them...they were always equally wonderful. it was amazing.
then in church he would make you smile and pick you up or sit you on his lap. he was never afraid to make you laugh during the mass. he was just grandpa. then when we got home, my mom and grandma would make egg salad sandwiches out of some of the dyed eggs while grandpa read us stories or told jokes or something.
these are some of the happiest memories i have and i attribute that fact to him. next time i'm in DC i think i'll go visit his grave. we laid him to rest in Arlington National Cemetary. during world war II he was in the air force, flying B-52s or something. now he can watch the planes go overhead from reagan national airport.
he was a wonderful man. he helped secure extremely fantastic health and work benefits for the union workers in detroit. he raised three children. he was kind to everyone he met. if you were out of a job, Eugene Guido would find you a new one. he didn't judge people. he worked so hard to give his children everything they wanted. and he was so proud of them, even when they screwed up. he loved his grandchildren so much and that love was returned fully!
i miss you grandpa.
posted by Caitie @ 5:55 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home